That's the most similar photo of what happened that led to my Saudade. I was not walking my dog. I was carrying him. People would always tell me that he looks so thin. But, as I was carrying him, I said to myself, he is a heavyweight. I had to halt for sort of like a pitstop to rest on our way to the animal hospital. I was ruminating on the sentiments of people who saw me during that day. One elderly man, actually, asked, 'Is he sick?" And, I said, 'Yeah".
It was the last day I saw him.
He's a good dog.
Here people eat dogs and cats. I got a lot of flak because I had a cat and three dogs. I do understand where they are coming from but they protected the property. They were a deterrent.
Now, I don't own any pets.
People looking from the outside would feel a sense of curiosity of what my life was like.
Maybe, if they had only known that I spent in a place where there were iron bars made with the window frames they would have been more kind.
I had to share a communal toilet and shower with other men.
To be honest, it felt like a prison.
It was the darkest episode of my life.
Each day, I was hoping for my release.
That day did come.
When I was inside the car, I was looking out the window and I said, "Wow, a lot has changed." I was jubilant.
I was free.
People don't know that, and the irony of all ironies, there would be times that I wanted to go back.
Today, I want to go back only to say thank you to all of the people there.
Here are some lessons I have learned in my tumultuous life.
Good Looks fade. I remember an old man who showed pictures of himself when he won bodybuilding competitions. As I looked at him then, I sensed a realization that he lost his pursuit in life. He only had pictures to show of the way he was.
Then, I learned that a goal should be of substance and value and God-Centered.
In my mission to search for the truth: I saw peoples' true colors and sentiments.
Good and Bad.
Now, that I am retired. I, rarely, go out of the house anymore. Except for sweeping the fallen leaves on the grounds and garden of the property.
I am now, the official janitor of the family estate.
I have lost interest in the world. I don't watch television, or the movies.
My last travel would be just that... "the ultimatum".
I am just counting the days.
Without much regrets or complaints, people don't really know that from grade school until the university I stayed indoors.
So, essentially, what I had to do I had to do it as quick as I could.
I have gathered enough stories to be written while waiting for my own sundown.
I will try to write stories that will make you smile, make you laugh, to guide you, to encourage you, and to help you.
As of now, in my career of writing I had saved one life.
That in itself keeps me inspired.
photo credit: Canadian Pacific Faces of Toronto: young man and St. Bernard dog via photopin (license)
License: (license)
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