Bernardita Zalazar Carpio rarely wrote. She was a frequent speaker on such themes as 'Love, courtship and marriage", "husband-wife relationship","the family, a miniature church", and the like. She never wrote down her talks. She favored familiar, person-to-person communication.
She talked, not from books, but from life. For she lived her faith. As a wife and as a mother of fourteen children who, she would emphasize as planned and prayed for, had rhythm like a poem - one girl three boys, one girl three boys, one girl three boys, to complete the dozen she prayed for on her wedding day, plus "bonuses", two boys, to make the fourteen lines of a sonnet. Our love sonnnet.
One day, a lady columnist in a Manila paper wrote about 'Painless childbirth: A myth" (Philippine STAR, 20 Feb 93). Bernardita wrote columnist Domini M. Torrevillas about "the other side". Domini published the letter in her column (3 April 93) saying -
"If you read on, you will be delighted-or amused - by Mrs. Bernardita Zalazar Carpio's paean to numerous childbirths; Mrs. Carpio gave birth "joyfully", as she puts it, to 14 children. Well, the lady is a vanishing breed; an exceptional one, too, as she never feared the complications, sometimes fatal, brought about by childbirth. Mrs. Carpio, incidentally, was the 1988 Gintong Ina Awardee of the Gintong Ina/Ama Foundation Inc."
The Cairo Conference on population limitation is being held this month, Sept. 5-13, 1994. The Pope and the Leaders of Islam find themselves allied against the birth control policies proposed by the rich, consumerist countries led by the US.
Feminists the world over assail the Catholic doctrine upheld by the Pope as "a reversal to the middle ages". I think the testimony of life of a Filipina wife and mother of fourteen (many Filipina mothers have more than 17) is worth re-publishing.
It is a mother's "Magnificat!" That transcends argumentation and debate. That shows the Pope's teaching can be lived. With Faith
"Dear Domini;
After my husband, former NBI Director J. Antonio M. Carpio read your article of Feb. 20th ("Painless Childbirth; A Myth"), he tossed me the STAR with the command**, "Write Domini."
In obedience, I write to share "The Other Side of Childbirth: A JOY."
Childbirth is the most beautiful of women's experiences. A woman realizes she has become a part of God's continuing act of creation. She recognizes her role as a preserver and conserver of the human race. As she views her newborn child, she thrills at the miracle of life and her whole being swells with love and gratitude to God and her husband.
I gave birth to 14 babies and breastfed each of them for a year or two or till the next baby was due. I delivered my first-born (when I was 22) in a nipa hut in an army camp with the army doctor and Tony, then a 2nd Lt., assisting, and my last baby (when I was 43) in a hospital with my personal obstetrician, and with Tony, then a lawyer, assisting. All were normal births. Long after my childbearing years were over, at age 50, my OB declared my reproductive organs as "good as new".
True, there is pain at childbirth, but to me, the labor pain is God-given--a gift. This natural, bearable pain is the only communication between my unborn child and me that the birth process has begun, and progresses with Mother Nature helping both of us. I await, relish and savor this pain in my body because I could feel my baby is alive. As Tony times the spacing of labor pains, I give him my smile of assurance that all is well. Fleeting thoughts come to my mind: of my own mother who gave birth to 11 children, and all the women who become mothers with JOY.
At the final stage, as the "creative push" is done, the indescribable feeling of warmth, love and joy is released from my whole being, body and soul... just like the climax of passionate lovemaking.
In my experience, the labor pains accompanying the 'birth of baby boys' come at regular paces, pains, although at the final stage, the boys have to be given two big, strong "creative pushes". I thought maybe it's because when the head is out, the big broad shoulders caught in the babyhole has to be pushed out again. I gave birth to 11 boys. I experienced unpredictable labor pains with the three baby girls, but surprisingly they slid along the birth canal easily. I can't understand why after my girls were delivered, tears automatically flowed down my brimming, happy eyes. Tony, who stood by my head, bussed my hair and whispered, "You're so beautiful..."
True, our Lord Jesus said, "Life is like having a baby." He said it this way: The kingdom of heaven is like a woman in labor. When she is delivering, she is filled with agony but afterwards she forgets the pain, feels joy that a man has come into the world.
I was only 16 when I decided I would have a big family, I was then only a senior high school student at Maryknoll, Lucena. I dreamed of having a dozen apostles in my miniature church. In His generosity, God gave me two more babies as a bonus.
I am thanking my beloved husband for holding my hands with all his love and strength during the 14 times I gave birth to his children, thus witnessing the truth about childbirth's being a JOY.
Isn't JOY the echo of God in us?--
Sincerely yours,
(Mrs.) Bernardita Zalazar Carpio"
____________________________
**what I said was, in Tagalog, "Darl, (short for
'darling') sulatan mo nga si Domini" But because,
thru all our years together, I loved her "as Christ
loves His Church", she made herself "subject to
her husband in all things". (The request of the
commander is a "command".)
*Iyo 'Ni, sept 13-19, 1994
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